Mary E-A. K. Remaniak Poetry

Look past the face.
Look past the shell.
Don't see how I show myself.
If you'd look more closely,
You'd see the lines
That tell a tale of suffering.
A roadmap marked in white on tan
That tells of where I've been.
With one red slash across it all
That marks a point of no return.
Seeing loss as a means of hope,
Even when knowing it's all a lie.
Visions of beauty bring only pain
And knowledge that I can never have it.
This perversion of self,
This nightmare of Heaven
That should bring peace
But instead shuts me out in the dark.
Get inside my head for five minutes
And run away.
The stuff inside is sickening.
The hold that fear has on me,
The nightmares ruining my dreams.
The past is my future.
The present going no where.
You may think I've got it all together.
But I'm cracking.
A snowglobe can only last so long
Before it breaks and everything comes out.
I wish you could see who I really was
And know that I'm not perfect---
Cause I'm not.

Poet: Mary E-A. K. Remaniak